Here’s the thing, I used to pride myself on being able to adapt quickly.
Throw me into a new responsibility or even last minute you need to feed 100 people in an hour in a city where you do not live, I wouldn’t flinch.. Yes, it really happened, but I handled it and quickly had a solution. Pizza was a quick fix to the problem. ( I can share the story another day).
Motherhood has been a HUGE learning curve for me. I am a high functioning personality, I thrive when were is a bunch to keep up with and love to be productive. I learned fast that motherhood often involves waiting, unproductive days, cleaning only for the house to get dirty again moments later.
Motherhood + Mental Load
During my initial time staying at home, being unable to finish normal tasks was really frustrating. It started impacting my thoughts and allowed a ton of space for my anxiety to take over. I faced perinatal anxiety that really stirred up a lot of fears. My original desire for heading back to work was to get some space from my daughter and do something where I could feel productive.
After, I spent this past year working full time. Commuting, waking up at 5 am and trying to keep my head above water wasn’t accomplishing what I truly needed. It really limited my time with my daughter who is almost 2 . The solution that I thought was what I needed, made me realize I didn’t know what I really needed or wanted.
Marie Kondo’s famous line, “Does this spark joy?”
Marie’s motto became a place to start reflecting on what direction I wanted to go with my career. I have a resume packed full with experience working with kids and loved every minute of it. After having your own child, it makes you want to rethink working with kids when away from your own. I absolutely love and adore kids, but I want to have energy. ( In case, you didn’t know children require energy and they have tons of it 😉
The things that spark joy in my life :
- helping, supporting and connecting with people that are longing for community and connection. hence, why I create I mama community + so passionate about helping other mamas know they are not alone.
- sharing my story with others– whether my infertility, my motherhood or my faith journey
- fueling my body + serving my body well (this means researching the products I am using daily on my body, in my home — to be as clean and toxic free as possible)
- my sweet family
- my friends that support me through all the seasons
- worship music — that you can’t help, but dance like crazy to…
- a good sweat session– something I haven’t had time to do consistently due to full time job
- road trips
My full time job has come to an end and I am grateful for the time to rediscover who I am as a person and who I want to be as a mother.
✨✨ Stay tuned as I share more about motherhood, my career change and how I almost have a two year old. ✨✨
Photographer //Sarah Marchwiany
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